The Ace Has Landed!: Ace Frehley Anomaly Review

It's been said that KISS is like a family. People may leave home but they are always a part of it. The original KISS was a family. Gene and Paul were the Mom and Dad; they were ultimately in charge, attempted to keep everyone in line and kept the whole thing going. Peter Criss was your crazy uncle...alot of fun to be around and warm-hearted but one too many stories about him ended with something to do with firearms, an ingested chemical of some kind or a car-crash. But Ace was your cool older brother: he had all the good albums, the best weed, threw the best parties and knew all the latest dirty jokes. He was always a blast to be around but he never got along really well with Mom and Dad and would eventually split from home under not so great circumstances. But even though he had his share of personal demons, you always knew how talented, smart and good-hearted he is and you just keep rooting for the guy to get his shit together someday, no matter how many times he's come close to total self-destruction.

Well, the prodigal son returns! Ace is back and he is sober. Also, refocused and more creative than he's ever been. Anomaly is a record from a man who has come to terms with who he is, what he's done and knows where he wants to go.

The album opens strong, with three solid from-the-hip rock n roll tunes: "Foxy And Free", "Outer Space" and "Pain In The Neck". Nothing subtle here as the album blasts to life with big riffs, kick in the gut drums and lyrics sung with that quirky "wink, wink, nudge nudge" style we all love from the Spaceman. The only "meh" moment is the weak chorus on "Neck".

Next up is his stellar cover of Sweet's "Fox On The Run". Gene Simmons once said Ace has the incredible ability to take some else's song and make it all his own. He has "New York Groove", "2000 Man", "Hide Your Heart" and "Do Ya" under his belt and can add this one with pride. I'd love to hear a total covers album from Ace someday. Most bands who do that with mixed results but I think Ace could hit that one out of the park. (Hey Ace, you'd sound amazing doing Joan Jett's "I Love Rock n Roll", Motorhead's "Ace Of Spades" and Alice Cooper's "School's Out". Just sayin'.)

One of the coolest tracks is "Genghis Kahn". It's got a plodding "Kashmir" type groove, with a tight riff played with a scritch-scratchy guitar tone that reminded me distantly of the James Gang "Funk #49". It's one of the brightest spots on the album, marred only slightly by a pointless chorus. There are no other lyrics on the tune, so the chorus sounds a bit misplaced. Edit those out and you'd have flawless instrumental. It also features the best guitar solo on the record. You know it's an Ace Frehley solo within the first three notes but you quickly see that Ace has (gasp!) matured with his playing over the years. There is a freshness that hasn't been there in a long time and you hear the wah-soaked solo just open up and blossom.

Ace threw us some curve-balls with "Change The World" and "A Little Below The Angels". Some pretty personal, socially-concious lyrics on these, where Ace confesses the mistakes of his past and how he wants to reconcile with the world for the future. Mellow and melodic, we see yet another side of Frehley's muse rear it's head. It's great to hear him still trying new things..he's obviously creatively rejuvenated and is being fearless with what he's allowing himself to express. There's a slightly cringe-worthy moment in the middle of "Angels" where he talks to his daugther (talking in a song is always lame to begin with) but it's tolerable and doesn't get in the way of an otherwise beautiful song too much. If we're talking cheese-factor, I'd still take it over anything from KISS '87-90 period.

Mr. Frehley has always sighted another New York native, Leslie West of Mountain, as an influence (listen to the first riff on Mountain's "Never In My Life" and then listen to Ace's "Rip It Out") and you can really hear it on the instrumental "Space Bear" (if you don't kow what Ace means by the term "Space Bear", do yourself a huge favor and seek out the 1979 KISS interview with Tom Snyder). A thick, back-beat hugging twisted heavy blues riff that sits on yer chest, refusing to let you up for air.

"Sister" is a song that has been floating around in the bootleg world for 15 years on demo reels and live-bootlegs. It finally makes it officially recorded debut here and it is a pummeling, crushing bit of Space Rock. Strong enough it could've served as the album opener with ease if they had wnated it that way. A favorite.

The album closes with another instrumental "Fractured Quantum", the fourth in the "Fractured" series. This is by far my favorite of the sequals to the original "Fractured Mirror" from his '78 solo album. This left me with the same feeling I had the first time I heard "Mirror" and that's saying something. Ace is one of the flashiest lead guitarists in the world who came to fame in one of the world's flashiest bands, but this isn't some guitar-hero wankfest here. He shows the caliber of his compositional skills by building a beautiful crescendo throughout the piece with simple melody, dynamics and instrumentation. Leaves me with goosebumps everytime.

The only bland spots in this album are "Too Many Faces" and "It's a Great Life". Neither are bad tunes and are enjoyable, they just simply didn't make much of an impression on me the way the rest of the album did.

Overall, I love this album. It's just what I wanted and expected from Ace, plus a little more. Ace has claimed that he's going to be putting out albums with more regularity now and this is he beginning of a long creative streak for him. To that I say with much affection, "Welcome home big brother. We've missed you."

Jim's Fashion Rules

I don't have much fashion sense nor do I care to. I find the world of fashion devoid of anything redeeming in humanity. Having said that, as a person living in the real world and having to be forced to contend with the outbreaks of various trends I see around me, I DO have a few fashion observations of my own:



If you're over the age of 12 and wear your ball cap backwards, to the side or anyway else but straight forward, you look like an imbecile. Grow up and turn that thing around.



Guys: let's all just take off the necklaces okay? The 70's was a long time ago. And let's give the diamond studs in your ears to your wives/girlfriends. I have earrings myself, nothing against guys with earrings. But guys in diamonds are pussies. Not to mention a bit creepy in that date-rapist kinda way. Sorry, no exceptions.



Shirts should never be tucked in when wearing shorts. It screams, "I'm comfortable, but still REAL uptight".



Rock T-shirts and sports jerseys are not to be tucked in...ever. EVER.



If you're a few years out of the military but are still sporting the haircut, time to try something new.



Let's stop with the God-wear please. Enjoy your faith, be proud, whatever. But stop treating your faith like a rock band and cheapening the sanctity of it by slapping it on a T-shirt. It's obnoxious and trust me, you're not "spreading the word", you're just annoying people.



All you "rebellious" folk in the combat boots, dark-rimmed glasses and wildly colored hair..you're not so rebellious. You're just conforming on the other side of the spectrum. Nice job and enjoy your uniform. And spending $100-200 on Doc Martens at Hot Topic or Journeys isn't that rebellious is it? Giving your money to a big business is what it is. How indie. Slum on down to the thrift shop or Army Surplus store like REAL punks had to do back in the day, okay rebel?

Obama shirts. To quote Bill Mahr, "Hey, I like Obama too. But let's not make a religion out of it."
I like Obama, but I hate to see anybody glorifying ANY politician. Because after all, he's still a politician. Black people, you get a year extension as far as wearing Obama images goes...the first African-American President is a big deal and a historical milestone. Celebrate and be proud. But a year will tell us if he's going to actually be any good or if it was all smoke and mirrors. You get another six months if things are going well. White people, time to dump the shirts...your shoulders must be sore from patting yourselves on the back for voting for the black guy.

Guys who are really, really skinny or really flabby, out of shape wearing a wife-beater out in public. Big, in shape guys who wear wife-beater's in public are douche-y because they're just trying to show off, impress people and are basically insecure. But at least they can fill one of those out in the correct places of the garment.

Extremely out of shape people in athletic/work-out clothing. Okay, I understand that may be the only comfortable thing you can squeeze into. But nothing calls attention to how unhealthy you are than athletic clothes hanging off a completely unathletic body. This goes for the trendy Affliction shirts as well..most people I see in these things would die of coronary failure within two minutes inside the octagon.

Those super tight and skinny emo jeans. They just look uncomfortable. But most emo guy's balls have yet to drop, so I guess there's room a-plenty.



And these are things that instantly put you in douchbag territory:

A faux hawk.

Men: flip-flops with long pants.

A polo shirt with the collar flipped up.

An eyebrow ring.

Clothes ridiculously too big for them.

Clothes ridiculously too small.

Camoflauge outside of hunting activities (WTF???)

Anybody who wears a T-shirt of a band they don't own at least one album from.

To narrow it down even more, anybody who sports Motorhead or Ramones colors and can't name at least five songs from each band, one of which ISN'T "I Wanna Be Sedated" or "Ace Of Spades". Yeah, those bands are cool. But what's even cooler is actually listening to them.

Crocs. Unless you are a nurse or are over 50.

Tye-dye. There, I said it.

Sunglasses worn indoors will get you a first-class ticket on the train to Doucheville.

Young guys in fedoras. You don't look stylish, slick or at all sophisticated. You look like you got lost in your Grandpa's closet.

Douchebag Alert: Paul Di'Anno Mouths Off About Iron Maiden

Paul Di'Anno in the Maiden years.

Paul today....bloated, bald and bitter.

For those of you who don't know, Paul Di'Anno was the original lead singer in Iron Maiden. He sang on the first two Maiden albums, Iron Maiden and Killers. He was then fired from the band for being a drunken, unreliable mess.

Since then, he has used the Maiden name to attempt to further his own career as a solo artist. In a very recent interview, http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=121158, Paul gets upset when asked a question about Maiden. Here's an excerpt:

When asked about the rumors that his drug use had something to do with his split with IRON MAIDEN, Di'Anno responded, "Where the fuck do you people get this from? I left IRON MAIDEN because they were going too heavy metal, and IRON MAIDEN is a money-making machine, and I don't give a fuck about it. It was not about drugs; it was nothing like that. Me and Steve [Harris]... I [wrote] the song 'Killers', Steve had [what he thought] were better songs. I thought his songs were shit. Nothing to do with drugs; nothing whatsoever. Check your facts or otherwise this interview is over... I hate that! I fucking hate that! Because people... You say something but you don't know. Well, I'm telling you. IRON MAIDEN is Steve Harris' band. It doesn't matter about anybody else — whether it's Dave Murray, Clive [Burr], me... it's Steve Harris' band and all it is is money, money, money, money — nobody else counts. And I wrote fuckin' 20-times better songs than his, but I only got one song on the 'Killers' album because it's Steve's — he must have this. Fuckin' Adolf Hitler. I'm not interested. So there you go. But you need to take drugs when you're with IRON MAIDEN because they're so fucking boring. And the only drugs were aspirin, because Steve [making hand gesture as if someone is speaking into his ear]... Fuckin' headache."

So...the man gets pissed when asked about Maiden? This is funny because ever since he was kicked out of Maiden, for yes, drug and alcohol abuse, he has been completely incapable of promoting himself WITHOUT mentioning Maiden in the same breath. He even goes so far as to use the Maiden font on his tour posters.

Better songwriter than Steve Harris? I've heard Paul's solo stuff. Is he keeping the good shit away from us on purpose?? Because I have yet to hear anything out of him that comes close to rivaling anything Maiden have ever put out (including those so-so Blaze albums). As for his complaint for getting only one song on Killers, well, Killers IS considered to be one the greatest and most seminal albums of the metal genre. So I'd say ol' Steve was correct in keeping Di'Anno's material off the album wasn't he? And also, Harris is such a horrible songwriter that Mr. Di'Anno continues to this day to play those songs in his live set.

And Paul, EVERYONE knows Maiden is Harris' band. We've always known that. Nobody has ever not known that. And the Adolf Hitler reference was a nice attempt at smearing Harris' name, but Steve Harris has always had one the most sterling reputations in metal for professionalism, integrity and creativity. So, he's an asshole because he told a drunk, irresponsible loser to get out of his band before he messed it up for everyone else? That's not being tyrannical, that's just good management.

Paul Di'Anno is just another guy in the long line of "I was in a famous band once that got even more famous after they kicked me out" bitterness. He can join Neil Turbin (original singer for Anthrax. Sang on the "Fistful of Metal" LP) and Al Atkins (the first Judas Priest vocalist before Rob Halford. He never even recorded with Priest, but still uses the Priest name to promote himself) in resting on his laurels of past glories.

Self Loathing Is An Ugly Thing

Only a person who truly hates themselves would play in Limp Bizkit and dress like this in order to add insult to self-inflicted injury.

Douchebag Alert! 5/20/09

http://www.romeorose.net/
Yes, he's 100% serious.


http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/05/20/martin.vick/index.html

If Michael Vick is allowed to re-enter the NFL, the author of this article should be forced to sleep with Vick's post-game jockstrap in his mouth for the duration of Vick's football career. HOw's that for "sanctimonious crap"?

What kind of music does the Joker listen to?

Heath Ledger's Joker in The Dark Knight is the greatest Joker ever. Period. Batman fans have spent endless hours debating this fact and I'm sure it will continue to be hotly debated until the end of the earth.

Some comic book aficionados have slammed their fists down that this version of the Joker was too far removed from the comic books. And it amazes me sometimes that some people who love comics (being a medium of complete fantasy in itself) can be so devoid of imagination when the boundries of what they're used to are stretched. But I enjoy seeing the flaws, the scars, the mental strain and all too human nature of my heroes and villians. And that's what The Dark Knight provides. I'm glad they didn't go the easy route and make just another crappy adaptation of a comic book, cheese and all (Spiderman anyone?). I praise director Christopher Nolan for having the vision, imagination and heart to take Batman from the contrived trappings most comics turned movies possess and giving the character a presence in the real world.

They've also claimed this Joker was far too psychotic to be the "Clown Prince of Crime" he's typically portrayed as. And I agree. And that's EXACTLY why I loved Ledger's take. Batman is one comic that has benefited greatly from the extra gritty realism added to the Bale-era Batman films. The Burton films with Michael Keaton were good and Jack Nicholson made a great Joker for the vibe of that film: comic pages come to life. Those Batman films were darker than any other Batman up til that point, but they still retained that aura of plastic coated storybook fantasy.

The Dark Knight has none of that. The Gotham City of TDK is a real, lived-in place. With real criminals commiting real crimes. It even made you think that a rich guy dressing up as a bat to fight crime was viable. And the psychosis of a criminal like The Joker is disturbingly real. He isn't a whimsical Clown Prince of Crime, he is a domestic terrorist. A being as scarred on the inside as he is on the outside and is out to punish the world for it. What makes this Joker so scary is you could actually imagine him being real. In the Burton films, Gotham City was out "there", way out in comic book land. But this Gotham City is YOUR city.

And that got me thinking about the other real life indiosyncrasies does the Joker have? Boxers or briefs... or is he a commando kinda guy? What does he like on his pizza? Does he hate humid days like I do? That big purple coat can't feel too brisk once the weather warms up.

The musical train of thought got rolling one evening while I was out with my wife at Fair Oaks Mall in Fairfax, VA. We were passing by that haven for rebellious conformity known as Hot Topic and there was a group of about four Emo kids (the dyed black hair, bulemic body frames, ridiculously tight jeans and facial piercings that looked more like acne than individuality) out in front, all in Joker shirts talking about the ways in which they related to him.

And it made me laugh to think he had become such an Emo icon, because you know what? The Joker ain't Emo. An Emo kid wouldn't have the balls to do what the Joker did. An Emo kid wouldn't cut you..he'd just cut himself. And then write a bad poem about it. No, it takes an angry punk/metalhead to execute the total disregard for the conventions of society and take steps to act upon it. THAT'S a guy who would cut you.

The Joker exists in chaos. And I could see the anarchic, pissy and angry tunes of the Sex Pistols (Ledger did base some of his characterizations on Johnny Rotten), Black Flag, Cro-Mags, Agnostic Front and Sick of it All appealing to him. Doses of Slayer and early Corrosion of Conformity would suit him too. I could even see him digging some of Miles Davis' and John Coltrane's more experimental stuff; it can be just as jagged, formless and unpredictable as the Joker's mind. No classical, smooth contemporary jazz or new age music for him...he'd want music that reflected and focused the aggression and disdain in his mind, not somethng to to quell it.

Nope, just can't see Joker being an Emo fan (sorry to disappoint ya, Hot Topic crew). Although, it could spur him to more heinous crimes. Could be he'd hear the likes of Dashboard Confessional, New Found Glory and Jimmy Eat World and become so digusted at what spineless, banal crybabies modern society has become it would inspire a holocaust of Biblical proportions. Or better yet, perhaps the Joker would happen upon a Limp Bizkit album and become so enraged at the mediocrity he finds on it that he abandons Gotham to seek out Fred Durst and jam that magic pencil through the top of his stupid red cap. It's too bad Ledger isn't with us anymore...I'd pay double the face value of a movie ticket to see "The Joker..He Killed Them All For The Nookie".

Joker n Johnny

My Dragon Slayer List

Ben "Coach" Wade from the TV show Survivor is one interesting fella. Yep, in additon to being one of the biggest windbag's I've ever seen, he's apparently been up to some interesting things in in his life time. Among them: being held captive by a tribe of blood-thristy cannabilistic Pygme's (had to escape by "calling in a favor" to the military who sent in a chopper ASAP to rescue him), setting a world's record (of which there is no record of) in long-distance kayaking which in turn upon telling the story during a chance meeting with Tom Hanks, inspired the movie "Castaway". He also apparently knows a super secret form of Chinese martial arts that only him and the guy that taught it to him knows. Yes, he's braved the Amazon solo, conducts orchestras and is the pinnacle of honesty and integrity ( no matter that he got fired from his coaching job at Southwest Baptist University for faking a brain tumor).

So in the spirit of full disclosure that Coach so obviously lives by, I'd like to present my own Dragon Slayer List of accomplishments. Do not let your credulity be strained my friends, just know that I am simply cooler and more interesting than the rest of you:

1) The Bourne movie trilogy, Under Siege and the MacGyver TV series are all based on me. Yep, that's alot of bad-assery to accomplish in one lifetime, but them's the breaks.

2) I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. I know the JFK assassination happened 12 years before I was born, but I'm THAT good.

3) In order to accomplish #2, I fashioned a homemade device out of wire coathangers, bubble gum and pocket lint in order to travel back in time, which I called the Flux Capacitor. Inadvertently I inspired the Back To The Future franchise as well.

4) During my duties as Minister of Badass in the Congo, I was captured by Russian Commandos in disguise as Zebras and thrown into a pit of poisonous vipers, left to die. But I survived by learning the viper's language, thus being able to communicate with them, earning their trust and loyalty. Whilst in the pit, I created a deadly form of martial arts called Snake Kune Do based on the efficient movements of the slinky reptiles. I trained with my viper bretheren as I formulated my plan of escape. In the end, I took my revenge upon my Russian captors by climbing up a rope I patiently made from shedded snake skins and leading my Serpent Army into pitched combat.

5) I am the one man Chuck Norris fears.

6) I stay healthy from the sweet nectar of young flowers in my coffee brought directly to me fresh every morning by hummingbirds.

7) I wrote the songs that make the whole world sing.

8) I was able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

9) 9/11 was just a botched assassination attempt on me. I live with that guilt everyday.

10) Salma Hayek's baby is really mine.

-Jim