EVH Wolfgang Stealth Special Review

I’ve lusted after an EVH Wolfgang model guitar for years (and in case you didn’t know, EVH stands for Eddie Van f****n’ Halen), all the way back when he was with Ernie Ball and it was just a Music Man model. He left Music Man and went with Peavey for a stretch, which is where his model was christened The Wolfgang. I heard guitar after guitar player I knew who had played one say it was one of the best guitars they had ever played. Eventually he left Peavey and went to Fender where they gave him his own branding: EVH. A lot of refinements had been made since the Peavey days (where guitarists were already raving about the guitars) and everything I was hearing was over the moon positive about the EVH version of the Wolfgang. So I began seriously considering acquiring one. But that deep burning want didn’t turn into a desperate need until earlier this year when they unveiled the Wolfgang Stealth model. Then it wasn’t even a choice. I had to get one.


But it almost didn’t happen. I ordered mine as soon as they were available for pre-order on Musician’s Friend. But after three months of being back-ordered, I was getting antsy. I had my finger on the trigger of canceling the order and instead getting the white, maple fretboard version of the Wolfgang. But a great friend of mine (thanks John!) urged me more than once to be patient and wait for the true object of my desire. Not long after the second or third time of talking me down off the ledge, I received notice that my guitar had shipped. And after an excruciatingly long three days, it arrived. And John was right: it was worth the wait.

After tearing open the shipping box, just the case alone had me impressed. It has molded Eddie stripes on the hardshell flight case and virtually indestructible industrial grade plastic locks (won’t rust). And when I opened it, white doves flew out with roses in their beaks. Not really, but it was an excellent moment, similar to when Indiana Jones opened concrete tomb for the first time, exposing the Lost Ark. There the guitar sat in a bed of gorgeous red plush, like a king’s robe. Beautiful. *sniffsniff*

Visually, the guitar is unique to the arsenal of Eddie. It’s called the Stealth because aside from the cream body binding, cream on the zebra humbuckers and the back of the unfinished maple bolt-on neck, this weapon is solid black. The body has a thin (to let the wood breathe a bit) satin black finish, as does the front of the headstock. All hardware is also black. But the most striking new feature is the ebony fretboard. Eddie has always been traditionally a maple fretboard guy, but apparently on a lark he had somebody make up a Wolfgang with an ebony board. Turns out, he liked it so much that a Stealth is now his preferred guitar.


Mine is the Special ($1400) instead of the more expensive USA made model ($3000). The only differences between the two are that the Special was put together in Japan, doesn’t have a carved maple top and the binding is one ply on the body only (as opposed to multi-ply binding on both the body and the headstock). Everything else is exactly the same: basswood body, the unfinished maple neck, the ebony fretboard with vintage sized stainless steel frets, genuine Floyd Rose with D-Tuna, Bourns low-friction pots and EVH designed humbuckers and tuners. Top notch quality through and through.


Picking it up out of the case, the guitar is light and extremely well balanced. The body was a bit smaller than I expected. Makes you realize how small a guy Eddie is; the guitar looks a bit more substantial on his shoulders. Similar to how big the Gibson SG looks on Angus Young, yet it’s a rather small guitar. I’m 6 foot, 225 lbs. so it’s a bit ukulele-ish on my frame but that’s cool..I enjoy the feeling of “owning” a smaller guitar. Feels more a part of me and I can manhandle it a bit more. Like Hulk Hogan in a wrestling match with Danny De Vito.


One problem people were complaining about with the first batch of Wolfgangs a couple years ago was that the frets were jagged along the edges. Being that the frets are stainless steel, that can really tear up the edge of your hand. And it’s a bit costlier to fix too at your local guitar shop as steel frets are harder to work on than the standard, softer nickel kind. But there was no such issue with mine, as the edges were perfect. A few quick runs up and down the neck left me smiling right away. It comes factory strung with EVH brand strings, .009-.046. Right out of the box there was zero fret buzz, no dead spots and the action was perfect for me. Notes and bends sang clear from the first fret up to the 22nd. The neck felt great in my hand and that fretboard….sweet butter.


The Floyd Rose is set so it sits flat against the body, so it only works in one direction..down, like a traditional tremolo. This is Eddie’s preferred set-up as he is a big believer that all components should be in contact with the guitar’s body in order to have maximum resonance. I hit the whammy bar hardcore for a minute or so and it stayed in perfect tune. The D-Tuna worked flawlessly. For those who aren’t familiar, the D-Tuna is a device patented by Eddie that is installed into the low E string of a Floyd Rose that drops the E string down a whole step to D with a tug. A simple push pops you back up to E. It stayed in perfect intonation before and after.


Plugged in, I was concerned at first and considered sending it back as I didn’t sound just like Eddie. What kind of shit is that??? Eventually I came to terms with my mere mortal status and began putting it through its paces in accordance with my own abilities. I’ve read many a review stating that many folks prefer the Special without the maple top as it makes for a warmer guitar. Many people find the maple on top of the basswood a bit shrill on the USA model. I’ve never played the USA so I can’t really compare, but I do love the generally warm sound of the Special.


The pickups are designed and wound to Eddie’s specs, (basically hotter versions of his original PAF) directly mounted to the body (again, that resonance thing) with no adjustable height screws. The pickups are extremely well-balanced..no particular frequency overpowers the guitar. The bass is solid and crushing. All thump and no warble or mush. The mids are solid and full; no cardboard or honk. And the treble sweetly screams without being ice picky or tinny. Muted notes chug gloriously and harmonics jump out of it. Notes bloom and sustain beautifully. Clean it shines as well, particularly with both ‘buckers engaged. In fact, the double humbucker position is probably my favorite setting, dirty or clean. But individually, the bridge humbucker is crunchy like you want a bridge bucker to be and the neck just sings with creamy goodness. These pickups, coupled with the fretboard and body, make this a very LIVE guitar. It will point out every flaw in your playing. Be sure your muting is up to snuff. Sloppy players will hate thing. (P.S. A note about the three way pickup switch on the upper horn of the body, Les Paul style: it’s reverse wired. Eddie did this to facilitate tapping, so he didn’t accidentally keep knocking it out of bridge position.)


A big point of debate I’ve read are the Bourns pots. More specifically, the low friction volume pot (the tone is normal friction). Basically, the low-friction pot is like a worn in pot, looser in its travel to better allow volume swells with the knob. Some players complain it’s TOO easy and that they were constantly knocking the control around as they played. I had no such problem….makes me wonder about their strumming technique. Anyway, I love the Bourns pot. As soon as they are available aftermarket, they are going in all my guitars. I enjoy not fighting with a stiff pot when utilizing swells. And a cool note about the knobs: the white marker line on the black MXR knobs glow in the dark so the position can be seen in low light stage conditions.


I opened up the back to check out the wiring and again, flawless. I’ve always worked on my own gear and am rather familiar with the electronic guts of a guitar. The workmanship is excellent. Clean, shiny solder joints, everything is shielded properly and all components are quality. Eddie had them leave the cavity unfinished (to help the wood age better).


According to Eddie and the guys who helped him bring his ideas to fruition, everything on this guitar is designed to work with everything else, to interact in a specific way with all the other parts to achieve his full tonal vision. To paraphrase them, this isn’t a guitar to change and upgrade. And I actually agree with that for once. I’m a born tweaker; I don’t own a guitar that I haven’t messed around with in some capacity or changed out pickups/electronics. This is the first guitar I’m going to leave alone. The only thing I’ve done to it is replace the standard strap buttons with Dunlop straplocks and that’s all I’m going to do to it.


I’m extremely happy and satisfied with this guitar. It has met and exceeded my expectations on all fronts. It handled the varied strains from Slayer, KISS, Hendrix, Maiden to Albert King and Booker T and The MG’s with equal aplomb. It’s definitely a PLAYERS guitar. Each component was designed for maximum effectiveness. It’s tough and does its job.


Now I’m thinking of getting the white one too.

I'm Going Through Changes...

As the old Black Sabbath song goes.

Yes things are changing. For the better, I hasten to add. The job I’ve been waiting on for two years has finally come through and I’m tentatively set to begin work this month on the 26th. It’s a great opportunity. It will allow me to provide better for my family and allow my wife Maureen to stay home with the kids, which has been her dream ever since she first got pregnant. It’s definitely her turn and she has more than earned it.

But as positive as all of this is and as excited as we both are about it, it’s very bittersweet. Ever since our first son was born, I’ve been the parent who has been home everyday. The proverbial Mr. Mom. My first thought after I got off the phone with the recruiter who told me that I would be starting work soon was “I only have three weeks left with my boys”.

I’m a lucky father. Most don’t get the opportunity I’ve had to spend so much time with their kids. I realize how rare and special it has been. I got to see my little boys grow and change everyday before my eyes from a perspective few fathers are lucky enough to have.

The plan all along was for Maureen to stay home. When I first applied for this job, we thought I’d have it in just under a year. The process took much longer than that and for the last two and half years my only job has been to be Daddy. And I’ve loved it. But it’s time to shift things around.

There’s a hell of a lot I’m going to miss. The little moments you get to witness during the day: the impromptu hugs, hearing those little laughs all day, making my oldest his waffle in the morning, and most of all, just being able to sit and hold my kidswhenever I felt like it. Of course there are things I’m not going to miss: the tantrums, food being thrown, the just organized room being trashed, the defiant yells and screams. You know, the stuff that makes parenting REALLY fun. But it’s time for my wife to get to experience both the little joys and irritations that only come from being with a toddler and baby everyday. And maybe she’ll be more successful at the potty training than I was (with the kids…I’m still not ready yet). Maureen has spent more than her share of time heading off to work early in the morning when wanting nothing more in the world than to stay home with her babies. The time has finally come where I can give her that priviledge. And I do it happily. But not without a tear and a small heartache.

I don’t know if our two year old will remember at all that he got to spend his first two years with Daddy. I know our 6 month old won’t. But I sure will.

Van Halen- A Different Kind Of Truth Review

The problem most veteran rock bands run into when they release new music is invariably the ghost of their glorious pasts looms over them. That old, classic music has emotional attachments that is hard for the new material, no matter how good, to compete with. How can a brand new tune compete with a song that glows with the warm sentimental sheen of 20-30 years of memories? It’s a real tightrope; a band runs the risk of sounding derivative of itself if they try too hard to repeat a past formula but they also risk alienating the ever faithful classic fan base if they stray too far from said formula.

So how did Van Halen do with the first full album of new material in 14 years (not to mention the first VH album with David Lee Roth back on vocals since 1984)? In short, every veteran act that is releasing new music this year had better start training because they have an incredibly high bar to get over. KISS, Sabbath, Rush, Marillion, Cult, Metallica…... this is your blueprint. Van Halen have managed the impossible by releasing an album that takes everything you loved about classic VH and bringing it into the 21st century while retaining it’s original luster. All while NOT sounding dated. They even added a couple new wrinkles here and there. It’s retro and modern at the same time.

A big reason for this is undoubtedly due to the fact that the majority of the album are reworkings of old demos from the ‘70’s. They’ve unfairly caught a lot of undue criticism for this. Initially, honestly, I too was a little skeptical. I was fearful of a “lazy” album; an album full of hastily recorded retreads that had the potential to sound tired and uninspired. It could’ve been the proverbial “let’s make a quick buck on our name” album. The relief I felt upon finally hearing the finished 2012 versions of those old tunes was quickly upgraded to jubilation. I knew it’d be good….I just wasn’t expecting it to be THIS good. There is nothing tired or lazy about this album. This is a band who still has the mojo. Tight, focused and ENERGETIC; the energy coming from this disc would be hard for guys half-their ages to keep up with. This isn’t some classic rock act simply going through the motions. This is vitality and a still flourishing creativity. The fact that a lot of tunes are old demos means nothing. That’s what demos are for: to bookmark ideas that haven’t reached fruition to save for later. It’s standard practice for all types of musicians, artists, authors, scientists, producers, philosophers, directors, etc. to revisit old ideas. People hung up on if it’s an affront to their misguided interpretation of “artistic integrity” or not are missing the point completely. An exciting disc made up of older ideas is just that: an exciting album. Screw everything else. And that’s what this album is: exciting. If you want a boring recording made up of all new ideas, there’s always Chickenfoot. I’ll be sitting here getting my ass kicked by this disc while you’re over there feeling full of integrity and bored out of your skull.


Individually, each guy shines on this album. It’s an achievement from both a band perspective and for each member. This is Wolfgang’s recording debut and for me he’s the MVP of the album. They really traded up with Wolfie. There has never been bass playing of this caliber on a VH album. Very Sheehan-esqe. I was expecting the usual plodding root 8th notes (not ragging former bassist Michael Anthony but let’s be honest, the bass playing wasn’t what you listened to a VH album for), but Wolfie steps up and is Eddie’s equal. For once, the rhythm section underneath the leads are as interesting as the soloing that’s going on above it. Really makes you listen to the album in a different way. I found myself seeking out Wolf’s parts. And Eddie must feel the same, as the bass is very prominent in the mix. It shares equal sonic space..you can tell he’s very proud of his boy! And it’s no surprise Wolfie is good; he was groomed for the band by his dad and Uncle Alex. Alex and Wolfie have gelled completely and the bottom end of Van Halen has never been more solid. It’s a BAND, in every sense of the word.


As for Eddie, I offer these two words: EDDIE’S BACK! He is totally unhinged and going for the jugular. The unbridled tapping, horse whinny harmonics and beautiful recklessness that define his playing are all present and accounted for. None of it sounds forced..he’s ENJOYING himself again. It’s loose and playful. And the Brown Sound has returned! His sound is a lot less dense and processed than it has been since Balance. A lot of that also has to do with the fact that there are a lot less guitar tracks layered on this one. It’s much like the early albums, where when Eddie plays a fill or solo and there’s no rhythm guitar underneath. The entire band breathes. A guitar, a bass and drums and BOOM! A lot of open air moving in between everything. Nothing is crushed underneath layers of production.

This album also marks the return of the one and only David Lee Roth. Goddamn I didn’t realize how much I missed this guy until I heard this album. You had some good stuff Sammy, but Roth is THE singer for the band. His vocals aren’t quite as dynamic as the classic days (what aging singer's vocals ever are??) but the difference is minor. He still sounds fantastic and still has the old DLR swagger. His lyrics are gold ...the wit and wordplay is still ever present and has been sharpened with a heavy dose of worldy wisdom. This is Dave the Sage..High Priest of the Frosty Order. Loads of quotable material here:

“Housewife to Momshell..”
“I want to be your knight in shining pick up truck..”
“Heroes aren’t born, they’re cornered…”
“If everything is coming your way, you’re facing the wrong lane..”
“Love ‘em all, I says, let Cupid sort ‘em out…”
“Last time you turned your radio on, did it return the favor?”
“Don’t want ‘em to get your goat? Then don’t show ‘em where it’s hid..”
“Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel..”

...just to show a few.

I’ve seen some on-line reviews that call the lyrics dumb. Ironic considering the lyrics on this album are far from the typical cock-rock odes to debauchery that made up the majority of the classic VH material. These are some of the best lyrics on any VH album ever. But the Internet has shown that a disturbing amount of people are devoid of the essential tools of sarcasm and context. Frankly, alot of it flies over people's heads. They completely miss the twinkle in the eye with which the lyrics were written. Kind of like Muhammad Ali with his rhymes. How can anybody take it so seriously? These are the kind of folks who take Looney Tunes literally and can’t fathom how Bugs Bunny carries that giant hammer in his pants all the time. Wait, where are the pants……?

Now for the important stuff...the tunes:

TATTOO- This tune made people nervous when it was released as the first single. They were expecting more of a barnstorming song to be the single and panicked, thinking this was indicative of the direction of the entire album (silly to do with any single, really). Now that we can rest assured that there are plenty of head slicing shredders on this album, we can take a look at this song in it’s proper context. It really is a left turn from the rest of the album. A grooving, mid-tempo radio friendly tune. Hooky vocals, classic Eddie solo..nothing too caustic or cage rattling. Interesting way to open the disc. It’s really misdirecting….it’s the jab that causes you to cover your face while the body blow you didn’t see coming right behind it knocks the wind out of you. I like the song a lot. A fun, sing along tune that primes you for the rest of the album. And knowing that such a killer album awaits after this song leaves you free to enjoy it without feeling bad about yourself.

SHE’S THE WOMAN- The pace picks up here. A swinging, hard driving back beat, with a ZZ Top-ish shuffle on top. If the middle section sounds a bit familiar it’s because the original version of this tune is where the bridge from “Mean Streets” was taken from. The structure of the bridge in this version stays pretty similar but is updated for 2012. Could definitely hear this on I or II.

YOU AND YOUR BLUES- The riff/vibe harkens back to the F.U.C.K. days. Another mid-tempo groover. The lyrics have an interesting twist: Dave quotes the titles of classic rock and blues songs. One of Dave’s stand-out vocal performances here..he let’s his voice go in the chorus, preaching his testimony of finally being free of that woman and her blues that have been dragging him down. Overall, this is my least favorite tune on the album but that does NOT mean it's a bad song; it's only in comparison to the other songs on here. This is one of those albums where even the least song is really, really, REALLY good.

CHINATOWN- This is where the album really jumps off for me. From here on out, they put their foot on your throat and refuse to let you up. Van Halen meets Motorhead on this tune..just relentless from start to finish. I think this is what people were wanting and expecting from the first single. This is classic that classic Van Halen juggernaut in spades. Begins with a furious tapping run by Eddie and then shifts directly into top gear with crisp, machine gun double bass drums and Eddie/Wolfie grinding out spitfire flurries of notes in unison. Brutal. The ending has some sick interplay between Ed and Wolfie before wrapping up. My personal favorite. Some people won't like it due to the sheer speed-metal velocity, but it's right up my alley.

BLOOD AND FIRE- Another favorite. Very much in the Diver Down/1984 vein. Eddie plays with a pretty clean tone here. Solid rocker that I imagine will make it into the live show. ..the chorus is easy to latch onto and the lyric “Look at the all of the people here tonight” just begs for audience interaction. One of my favorite solos on this disc.

BULLETHEAD- Quick, driving, punky number ala “Atomic Punk” that also would be at home on I or II. Energy is high here. Lots of grit and venom.

AS IS- One of the crown jewels. The 30 second clip Van Halen released as a teaser faded out just after the heavy, quirky intro riff and really left you wondering where the song was going. It quickly transforms into another double time locomotive. Suddenly, after the solo, it breaks down into a short, twisting, sludgy riff reminiscent of the intro that feels like you’ve taken a U-turn too fast and are trying to hang on, then gives way to a country clean picked riff that leads right back into the frantic pace of the main body of the song. That quick sojourn into the sludgy riff after the solo is a phenomenon I call “Ninja Riffs”. And they are all over this album. They are badassed riffs that come from out of nowhere, cut your head off and then disappear never to be heard again after a couple bars. That’s one thing about this album..nothing overstays it’s welcome. They hit you, BAM! and then are on to the next thing. Another favorite..a Top 3 for me.

HONEYBABYSWEETIEDOLL- Another song that left you going “WTF?” when you heard the samples. Again, it faded out just after the weird intro. But the wait was worth it. This is the darkest, heaviest thing on the album…recalls the flavor of Of Women And Chidren First. Very thick sounding. The bass really carries the weight on this and sounds like it’s going thru a MuTron filter. Eddie also plays around with some pitch shifting effects and his tone just nastily stings you. The song ends as bizarrely as it begins. Another favorite. Eddie really twists out some left of center Eastern melodies on the bridge and solo. One of the coolest songs here. Along with "Chinatown"and "As Is", this rounds out my Top 3.

THE TROUBLE WITH NEVER- Wah-soaked Vai/Satriani-like main riff here. Songs stays tight in the pocket until it opens wide on the chorus…big chords, the bass drives it and there’s lots of classic VH “ahhh” and “ohhh” background singing. The solo really blossoms and the combo of Wolf and Alex really shines under the solo. This was the first full tune besides “Tattoo” I heard before the album was released and it was when I first became aware and impressed with how Wolfie had gelled with Alex. The riff after the spoken word breakdown is another Ninja Riff that just guts me. They could’ve created a whole other tune based off of that; it just crushes.

OUTTA SPACE- Another tune culled from the ‘70’s demos, this one coming from the original Gene Simmons produced demo. Riff really reminds me of Maiden’s “Two Minutes to Midnight.” But that’s where the similarity stops. Its another energetic straight ahead punky rocker in the vein of Bullethead. Real classic sounding stuff. Would work great live.

STAY FROSTY- This song was the surprise of the bunch for me. I thought very little of it when I first heard the samples. Seemed like just an Ice Cream Man re-write. I heard more of the song when they used it in an episode of CSI and liked it a bit more. But I didn’t really come to appreciate it until I heard the full album version. Dave is really the star here..he’s dispensing his worldly wisdom in that full Sage mode I mentioned before. The music maintains that Ice Cream Man swing throughout and Eddie lets loose on the last half of the song. A lighthearted, fun tune that does nothing but rock.

BIG RIVER- Wolfie and Alex drive this with a pumping stomp groove that pushes everything along before it while Eddie’s riff rolls along like, well, a big river, on top. Another favorite. The bridge breaks down to another Ninja Riff before Eddie dives into the solo..the album’s best, IMO. It’s his “All Along The Watchtower”. He takes the solo through three distinct moods before returning to the main theme. And again, Wolfie really shines underneath Dad’s solo. Since the Top 3 is full, it's now in the Top 4.

BEATS WORKIN’- Epic opening to the final song on the album. After the intro, they settle into a solid pocket that grinds forward. The chorus recalls “Feel Your Love Tonight”. A short bass interlude after the bridge transitions the song into some primo noodling from Eddie that elevates into the quick but climatic outro.

And just like that, the album is done. Seems like it went by way too fast. This is one where I feel a couple of extra tunes wouldn’t have hurt anything. Most albums I feel could be edited down by a song or two, but this flows so well and is paced so perfectly that when the end comes, you’re just not ready for it to be over. It begs repeat listenings.

Bravo, gentlemen. The powers that be in the band have made no mention of continuing to collaborate beyond this tour but they also haven't said that this is it either. So here's hoping things continue to go well because as long as they have work of this caliber up their sleeves, I'll be first in line at the store on release day.

Roots

This past Wednesday I took my boys, Gage (2 and a half) and Luke (5 months), to visit their great-grandfather Bud (or as Gage likes to say, "Papa Buuuuuuuuuuuuudddd") at his house. It was a fun visit; my aunt Karen was there to help with Luke while Grandpa and I took Gage outside to go see some horses, play basketball and just be outside to enjoy the amazingly warm 65 degree February day.

My grandparents built that house right before I was born. So for me and my cousins Val, Sabrina, Will, Michael and Troy (miss you buddy) that house is the house we associate with them. That's the ONLY house we think of when we hear the term "Grandma and Grandpa's house". It's always been there to welcome and accept us no matter what.

Collectively, my cousins and I, we all couldn't be more different from each other in many respects. Especially me (I'm sure each cousin will say it's them). It's tough to be the coolest one of the bunch...my cross to bear I guess. Anyway I digress. The point is we all have our individual quirks and such, but under the roof at Grandma and Grandpa's it didn't matter. We were all accepted and celebrated for what was uniquely ours as individuals and as members of the family. A very warm, loving and inviting space in which to exist and just be. It's where Grandma and I would plan trips to the moon and where Grandpa taught me my first guitar chord. It was open C.

My grandmother passed away in November of '07. The Tuesday before our visit would've been their 59th anniversary. We all miss her terribly, Grandpa probably most of all. I would've given anything for her to be able to see me get married and to meet my two boys. Since her passing, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been over to the house. It hasn't been on purpose, just the usual busy nature of life. Grandpa also hadn't felt like hosting the usual festvites that were traditonally centered there: Thanksgiving, birthdays and Christmas. Only in '10 was there a family gathering at Grandpa's for Christmas for the first time since her passing. There was one last year as well, but I couldn't attend because I had gotten out of the hospital Christmas Eve (another story for another time) and was too tired to attend. Made me sad to miss it. Some of the best memories of that house are from Christmas time. Not to mention all the birthday parties. Mine and Grandma's were close together, Nov. 26 and Dec. 5 respectively. So while the family was gathered for Thanksgiving, we often combined them into a dual celebration. NOTHING like a full Thanksgiving dinner followed by birthday cake and presents. Not to mention the occassional cake fight that would break out; I'm pretty sure I still have icing somewhere in my left ear.

Alot of time has passed since those days. Us grandchildren have grown up and are all doing our own things. Some of us have gotten married. My goofy ass even went so far as to have kids of my own. And I was here with them now at this house I did so much growing up in. On the way outside, Gage was walking in between Grandpa and I, each of us holding one of his hands. I couldn't get the whole circle of life (and all that crap) thing out of my head....came this close to holding Gage up in the air Lion King style. There was something terribly surreal about watching my own son run and explore the same yard and woods where I spent many a summer and holiday doing the same.

My mind began to wander and eventually it headed straight backwards. Thankfully, Grandpa was around to help keep an eye on the kid because part of me suddenly wasn't there. Half my brian was remembering walking along the fenceline to get around to the pond to go fishing; playing horseshoes with my uncles; the time I threw a boomerang I found in the garage, not expecting it to come back...but it did (I had to duck and it skinned my knuckles as it wizzed over my head); being lifted off the ground by Tippy the dog when I was a toddler; running, wrestling and sometimes fighting with my cousins in that big yard; cooking out on the grill on the porch........I was suddenly trying to keep all the memories that popped up like a flood from squeezing out of my eyes.

I turned away for a minute and walked over to the tree I brought them to plant years ago when I was in the 4th Grade and our teacher Mrs.Porter gave us each a sapling for Arbor Day. I picked up a pine cone from the tree (now a good 150 feet tall) to take home and turned back around to look over the expansive property to see all the ghosts that were flooding my brain again. It hit me at that moment that, someday, another family may be living in this house, playing in this yard. Perhaps they won't like where my tree is planted and cut it down. One day someone may move our memories out so they can move their own in. I can't describe the feeling of how it felt to see the past all at once and wishing you could capture it in one place forever, where nobody could ever touch it and rearrange it. When I was a kid, man, this place was FOREVER. The world out there was going to change but this place never would. It was somehow immune to the changes of time. And it overwhelmed me to realize the fact that that wasn't true. And all I could think, almost bitterly, was "Dammit...it all went by so fast. Too fast." There are times you don't feel like being a grown-up for just a minute, wishing you could step back into something that's not coming back and breath it in one more time. So I stood there, just enjoying being where I was for the moment, hanging on to it. Watching my son trample on the same hill I had. Happy that he is getting to enjoy a bit of what I enjoyed about being here.

We went back inside after a good hour and Gage continued to run and explore inside the house. He had a scab on his head from a few days before where he ran into the island in the middle of the kitchen, discovering he wasn't short enough to clear it anymore. It made me chuckle as he ran past the spot in this kitchen where I did the same thing when I was two.


Later, the kids were packed up and we were heading back down the driveway. I looked over my shoulder back at the house and remembered what a wonderful feeling it was (and still is) to come over the hill of that road and see that house sitting on the hill. Knowing all the love that awaited us (and still awaits us) there. I looked in the rearview at my boys and thought that even though my childhood is over, their's is just beginning. And it's my job to make sure theirs is as filled with the same loving memories as mine was. You know, circle of life (and all that crap).

There will be many more visits to see Grandpa. This visit certainly wasn't the last. He just turned 80 and is in good health; still spry and good-humored. There are still memories to make there. This day was just one of those times in life where you realize how much something means to you..how much something is a part of you. And how nothing lasts forever no matter how much you may wish it would.