I'm Going Through Changes...

As the old Black Sabbath song goes.

Yes things are changing. For the better, I hasten to add. The job I’ve been waiting on for two years has finally come through and I’m tentatively set to begin work this month on the 26th. It’s a great opportunity. It will allow me to provide better for my family and allow my wife Maureen to stay home with the kids, which has been her dream ever since she first got pregnant. It’s definitely her turn and she has more than earned it.

But as positive as all of this is and as excited as we both are about it, it’s very bittersweet. Ever since our first son was born, I’ve been the parent who has been home everyday. The proverbial Mr. Mom. My first thought after I got off the phone with the recruiter who told me that I would be starting work soon was “I only have three weeks left with my boys”.

I’m a lucky father. Most don’t get the opportunity I’ve had to spend so much time with their kids. I realize how rare and special it has been. I got to see my little boys grow and change everyday before my eyes from a perspective few fathers are lucky enough to have.

The plan all along was for Maureen to stay home. When I first applied for this job, we thought I’d have it in just under a year. The process took much longer than that and for the last two and half years my only job has been to be Daddy. And I’ve loved it. But it’s time to shift things around.

There’s a hell of a lot I’m going to miss. The little moments you get to witness during the day: the impromptu hugs, hearing those little laughs all day, making my oldest his waffle in the morning, and most of all, just being able to sit and hold my kidswhenever I felt like it. Of course there are things I’m not going to miss: the tantrums, food being thrown, the just organized room being trashed, the defiant yells and screams. You know, the stuff that makes parenting REALLY fun. But it’s time for my wife to get to experience both the little joys and irritations that only come from being with a toddler and baby everyday. And maybe she’ll be more successful at the potty training than I was (with the kids…I’m still not ready yet). Maureen has spent more than her share of time heading off to work early in the morning when wanting nothing more in the world than to stay home with her babies. The time has finally come where I can give her that priviledge. And I do it happily. But not without a tear and a small heartache.

I don’t know if our two year old will remember at all that he got to spend his first two years with Daddy. I know our 6 month old won’t. But I sure will.