Carnival Of Souls is the red-headed stepchild of the KISS catalog. It may be KISS' most divisive and misunderstood album of their career; even more so than The Elder, arguably. Some fans dismiss it as an attempt to simply cash in on the "Seattle Sound", the grunge vibe that was at the top of the charts in those days: heavy down tuned guitars and darker socially relevant lyrics. Others, like me, see it as just a more mature, heavier KISS ( I know, I know, who the hell wants MATURE KISS right?) and an exciting change in direction. Sure, I suppose there could be superficially some elements of the grunge sound there, but it still sounds like KISS to me. And let's be honest, KISS has always chased the latest trend to a certain extent; let's not forget the disco pop sound of 79/80 or the slick hair metal sound of the late 80's. Even their original heavy blues rock sound in the '70's was purely of the times. They've always channeled what was going on around them to one degree or another.
As if the criticisms from some fans isn't bad enough, even Gene and Paul like to deride the album as a failed experiment. Although, I do tend to take Gene and Paul's assessments of their own work with a huge helping of salt; they tend to trash and attempt to minimize anything that they deem unsuccessful. The Elder was a commercial flop when it was released in '81. Yet, it's become a fan cult favorite. But getting them to acknowledge the album in a live show is nearly impossible. So in true KISS fashion, if it didn't make money, it doesn't get played.
Carnival Of Souls came at an odd time. For the first time since Lick It Up in '83, the unmasked version of the band (which included Bruce Kulick and Eric Singer) had regained it's hard rock footing with 1992's Revenge. For me, it was glorious time. KISS quit looking like a bunch of Vegas whores with cheap perms and got back to basic black leather, scraggly hair and bad attitudes. Their sound nastied up again and the live show contained alot of classic material largely ignored during the hair metal heyday of the '80's. It was the most KISS like they had been since they removed the make-up. The Kulick/Singer line-up proved to be the most versatile incarnation of KISS ever. Gene and Paul were more focused than they had been in years, Kulick had been let loose from the typical slick '80's shred playing shackles he had been placed in previously and was really getting a sound of his own and Singer brought an unbridled vitality with his drumwork. And I was excited as hell as to what they were gonna do next.
As '95 came and went, I had heard rumblings that their latest recordings were much heavier and darker than Revenge was. I, of course, could not have been more delighted. That's what I wanted from KISS again..the teeth. At this point in their career, I just wasn't looking for yet another ode to their cocks. Been there done that. I even heard some song titles: "Hate" "Jungle" "Childhood's End"..I liked what I was beginning to hear about the upcoming album! But of course, in came 1996 and we all know what happened that year: the KISS Reunion bomb was dropped on the planet. Ace and Peter walked back into the fold and all activities with the Bruce/Eric line-up were indefinitely put on hold, including the release of the newly recorded album.
But we KISS fans are resourceful and it didn't take long for a bootleg version of the new album to surface. It was going around with the title Carnival Of Souls. So I got my bootlegged cassette copy of it and immediately fell in love with the album. It was everything I had hoped it would be: a focused, heavy, incredibly written and performed, creative KISS album. Not long after, due to the unreal success of the Reunion Tour, it was announced that Bruce and Eric were out of KISS for good. It officially ended one of the best line-ups in the band's history and putting the prospect of the album ever being officially released into limbo. As exciting and magical as the Reunion was, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss that this amazing album may never officially come out and that we'd never get to see the line-up that recorded it play any of it live.
Carnival Of Souls finally did get it's official release though. It was quietly put out with no fanfare on Oct. 28, 1997. It was titled Carnival Of Souls: The Final Sessions with a simple cover of the band in the studio. There was a super cool cover originally planned for it (a creepy leather S&M mask, with fire leaking out of the open zippers) but they let their rights to use it expire. "Jungle" was released as a single and did fairly well. I heard it on the radio quite a bit actually. I haven't heard a new KISS single receive as much airplay since. But that was the extent of the promotion for it. Talk of the reunion album with Ace and Peter was in full swing at that time and Carnival Of Souls was pretty much ignored by Gene and Paul and treated as an afterthought. It was essentially stillborn.
The album now occupies a space in Cyber Kissland where fans like me endlessly laud it's merits and others treat it as the plague. It's still a top five KISS album in my eyes. I hold it up as a relic of the time KISS surpassed my expectations and their own cliche's to deliver something I feel is truly special. Once they decided to go back to the old reliable arena anthems and "fuck me, suck me" formula when they put the paint back on, the adventurous spirit displayed on Carnival Of Souls was laid to rest.
Sure, I realize ragging KISS for singing songs about banging girls and how amazing their penises are is like ragging on water for being wet. I'm a KISS fan, so naturally I have an utmost affinity for the pocket/rocket and knees/please tunes of their golden age. I still listen to those and still cherish them. Always will. KISS' foundation lay upon poon tunes. But as I got older (and as they did too) hearing guys reaching AARP age continue to write about the joys of young tail got a bit old and, well, kinda creepy. And rather hackneyed as well.
What COS represented to me, at the time, was band that was comfortable with who they were and who didn't need to rely on the cliche's of their past. Obviously, I may have been wrong considering how quickly they ditched that whole direction in order to dress up and sing all those old odes to their love guns again. And they made millions doing it. Again. So naturally when they did Sonic Boom a couple of years ago, it was a "classic" style KISS album with plenty of schlong references like "tower of power" and talking about getting "all up inside". A looonnng way from the more pointed and articulate criticisms of life, religion and the human race on COS tunes like "Hate", "Jungle", "Seduction Of The Innocent" and "It Never Goes Away". Instead of more tunes about family bonds and friendship, like "I Will Be There" (for Paul's then newborn son Evan) and "Childhood's End", we get Paul Stanley (a married man almost 60 and father of three) still trying to sound like a swinging single guy out for a lay on a Saturday night and Gene Simmons spinning more yarns about hot women that can't resist him as if his pot belly, wig and two kids don't exist.
Evolution isn't always a bad thing. Blackie Lawless from WASP began his career in '84with the single "Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)". Then in '89 he put out the more socially conscience The Headless Children album. It was a huge step up both musically and lyrically from anything he did before. And he ran with that direction since. And those albums are among my favorites in their discography. Hell, today he doesn't even play "Animal" live anymore.
Yeah, dark and serious was never the KISS thing. They've long been the clown princes of decadence and fun. That's why we all liked them to begin with. They ultimately are a soundtrack to the good times in life and maybe aren't suited for a long career of deep-thinking. And I can't really fault them for going back to what made them famous (read: money) to begin with. But for a time, it was nice to see the band evolve and move forward into uncharted territory for them. And they did it brilliantly. So let's hear it for the KISS-era that never was. It may not have been as popular as what they did end up doing with the Reunion, but I would've been satisfied if KISS finished out their days putting out albums like COS and playing smaller places. Creatively, it was far more interesting than the "Remember all that stuff we did before? Well, here it all is again" approach they've taken since.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
God Stuff Part II: The Christian Persecution Complex
Recently, I had a small exchange with somebody about NBC leaving "Under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance. This writing isn't directed towards that person, but the more general attitudes the short conversation brought to mind.
They expressed that the powers that be are in a constant push to eliminate God from our lives and Christians should stand up and let themselves be known with a loud, unified voice against this supposed attack on their faith. While I can appreciate being annoyed at the exclusion of "Under God" (even though it wasn't in the original pledge at all. It was written in 1892, adopted by Congress in 1942 and "Under God" wasn't edited into it until 1954. But that apparently is beside the point), I find the idea that Christianity in this country is being threatened with extinction rather silly. But then again American Christians love a good persecution complex; after all, martyrdom goes with the whole Christ thing. There's no greater martyr icon than Christ on a cross.
I single out American Christians because the kind of uptight zealotry I'm talking about seems to be a product solely of the Land O' Uncle Sam. It may not have been invented here but it has been perfected. Citizens of other countries have said as much. Sure every nation has it's zealots and extremists, but when it comes to good old fashioned obnoxious Christian evangelicalism, we take the cake.
And before I go further, I'm not trying to paint all Christians in this light. Far from it. I know some damn fine Christians that I'm proud to associate with. They are humble, giving, accepting, non-judgemental and peaceful folks. Sadly, they seem to be an anomaly among the majority. So this is directed to the rest of the masses I encounter.
To my eyes, Christianity is well represented in this country. Christianity is the biggest religion in the world and the U.S. has the largest number of Christian citizens in the world. Not a bad start. Stats like that take you right to the front of the line. There's not a single day that goes by that I'm not reminded of some body's Christian faith. Just walk down the street: Churches on every corner, crucifix pendants around many a neck and rear view mirror, vanity plates and bumper stickers praising Jesus (In fact, the Virginia DMV is now going to be making available "In God We Trust" plates), businesses with those little Jesus fish on their signs like some sort of secret code, Christian Family Bookstore chains in large shopping complexes accessible by all major roadways, people on street corners (and sometimes even knocking on your door) handing out Christian literature and at Christmas time, there are large groups of folks who will walk around in public singing Christian Holiday songs to anybody who will listen. And sometimes people will even throw money at them for it. MONEY! Not stones, spears or knives but sweet, sweet green.
I see tattoos all the time, openly displayed, of Christian images: crosses, Jesus, angels, saints..I've even seen a couple people with a crown of thorns tattooed around their heads.
Turn on the radio or TV. There are multiple stations and channels dedicated 100% solely to the Word. People like Joel Osteen fill entire STADIUMS with the faithful. And he profits handsomely from it. Legally. Songs like "You Light Up My Life" and "Jesus Take The Wheel" have been number one, best selling songs. And let's not forget a film called "The Passion Of the Christ" that was kinda popular.
How about our government? Churches have power where they aren't even SUPPOSED to have any. Separation of Church and State is largely ignored. The Founding Fathers (who were DEISTS, not Christians...look it up) were explicitly against having clergy involved in political affairs. It's only logical they were touchy about that. They just fought a little war of independence (you may have heard of it) to combat, among many other things, the theocratic power of the Church of England, who cheerfully imposed rules on the colonies such as that missing a certain consecutive amount of days of Church warranted jail time. Yet from the very beginning, the clergy began exerting their influence in political matters. There were to be no official religious tests to hold office, yet unofficially, even today candidates have to claim a Christian set in order to be down in the 'hood to have hopes of even being considered for an election. There's not alot of openly Muslim, Hindu or (gasp) atheist folks on the halls of Congress or the White House. Christmas receives a Federal holiday as does Easter; we don't get any days off for Hanukkah, Kwanza or Ramadan do we? Hell, the biggest Christmas Tree in the nation is in Washington D.C. every year. Churches also wield an influence in government decisions and candidates, yet they are exempt from paying taxes. They get to have their cake and eat it too.
That doesn't seem like persecution to me and it sure doesn't reek of victim hood. It sounds like Christianity has the lion share of freedom and influence when compared to everyone else. When I think of religious persecution, I think of the Middle East, where you can be jailed or killed for showing expressions of the wrong faith in public. I think of the Holocaust where millions were slaughtered because they were the wrong religion. I think of the Crusades and Spanish Inquisition where Christians themselves murdered and tortured those of opposing beliefs. How about the Jesuit priests who came over to this new land to bring the message of eternal love through torture, imprisonment, thievery, rape and execution to the Indians?
I don't view reminding Christians that while they want people to respect their boundaries, they need to respect others as well to be oppression. Hordes of Christians with signs, yelling angrily at somebody entering an abortion clinic? I see oppression of some body's birthright to make their own reproductive choices. When I see Christians rallying to stop same-sex marriage, I see oppression of civil rights. When Christian groups seek to teach creationism in schools and attempt to block scientific advancements such as stem-cell research, I see oppression of intellect and progress. When they attempt to ban books, music and movies I see oppression of creativity and choice. When I see them oppose other people's constitutional rights to freedom of speech and religious freedom, I see the oppression of a civil and free society.
And I don't count banning prayer from public schools, the ten commandments in courthouses or nativity scenes from the front of government buildings as an assault on faith. Sorry. They don't belong there. Having reasonable boundaries is not a raping of rights. I know Christians generally have a hard time with the word "no", especially when it prevents them from steamrolling over everyone else. But there are countless other unhindered ways to express faith in this country...they don't have to hog them ALL. Also, by the way, saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" isn't an affront to God either. There are other major holidays in December besides Christmas. It's just a nice way to include everybody without making assumptions. While we're at it, though I celebrate Christmas, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I was told "Happy Hanukkah". Let's be adults and accept the kind sentiment behind the words instead of getting hyper about technicalities.
It seems like Christians have never gotten over being fed to the lions in Rome all those years ago. They've carried that underdog mentality with them to this very day, even though they've taken over most of the world. It's a very militant mentality. It's in their language when they refer to themselves: "Soldier Of Christ" "God's Army, "Prayer Warrior" etc etc. It only reminds me of what Robert Ingersoll said: "If there be an infinite being, it doesn't need us to defend it." But what more do they want, honestly? Bibles delivered to every home like phonebooks? Is their current slice of the ecclesiastical pie not big enough? There's not much left to take, really. They already have the most influence, privileges and funding of any religious group in the country. I thought charity was an important virtue..leave something for somebody else. I think many modern Christians are too busy trying to be Christians rather than trying to be like Christ. There is a very real, and very huge, difference between the two.
So, Christians, let's just calm down shall we? Stop being afraid you're going to be kicked out of the sandbox. You won't be. You know why? Yes, you may be the loudest, biggest kids in the sandbox shoving all the other kids around but you can't be kicked out, because you also own the damn sandbox. Nobody can make you go anywhere. You've elbowed your way to the front of the buffet line and are there to stay. So sit down, eat your food and quit whining; nobody feels sorry for you. And is writing letters to television stations for what they did or didn't say really the best use of your spiritual energy? Does God really need the airtime that badly? Are you protesting for God or for your own need to be validated? It just seems to me those tightly clasped hands that are praying unceasingly for somebody you recognize you as a righteous Christian could be better put to use doing something for the poor, hungry and ill of our society. All this other stuff seems superfluous by comparison doesn't it?
I challenge you to put your Christ where your mouth is. Instead of standing outside a clinic waving signs at some frightened and ashamed teenage girl trying to scare her into keeping the baby her scumbag father may have impregnated her with, why don't you go visit an orphanage or the child cancer ward of the hospital? Those children are already here, very scared and very alone. Instead of espousing terror, anger and bile at people you don't even know, go give THOSE kids some hope and love. Go spend time at a nursing home and visit some people whose friends and family have all passed on and left them behind. Feed somebody who may not have eaten a decent meal in months. Quit worrying about how other people are worshipping (or not) and keep your eyes on your own paper.
Listen, I'm not out to stop somebody's religious expression. Sure, I'm not religious but that doesn't mean I don't respect other people's right to be. To quote one of our Founding Fathers Thomas Jefferson,"But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." Go ahead, wear your crosses, drive your Christ encrusted cars, build more churches. I see the value in religion; it gives many a person hope and comfort in a harsh, cruel and unfair world. Celebrate and find joy in your faith. I won't even turn the hose on you if you show up on my doorstep to hand me a Bible. I may even invite you in and discuss it with you; there's no reason we can't be friends because we believe differently. But every once in awhile we gotta remind the guy who is talking on his cellphone in the theater that there's a time and a place for everything. Having the right to own a cellphone doesn't give that guy the right to use it when it's inappropiate. Nobody is trying to pick on him and take away his phone, people are just trying to remind him to use his manners while he's out being a part of society. So let's all relax and enjoy the movie together before I run this metaphor into the ground even further.
They expressed that the powers that be are in a constant push to eliminate God from our lives and Christians should stand up and let themselves be known with a loud, unified voice against this supposed attack on their faith. While I can appreciate being annoyed at the exclusion of "Under God" (even though it wasn't in the original pledge at all. It was written in 1892, adopted by Congress in 1942 and "Under God" wasn't edited into it until 1954. But that apparently is beside the point), I find the idea that Christianity in this country is being threatened with extinction rather silly. But then again American Christians love a good persecution complex; after all, martyrdom goes with the whole Christ thing. There's no greater martyr icon than Christ on a cross.
I single out American Christians because the kind of uptight zealotry I'm talking about seems to be a product solely of the Land O' Uncle Sam. It may not have been invented here but it has been perfected. Citizens of other countries have said as much. Sure every nation has it's zealots and extremists, but when it comes to good old fashioned obnoxious Christian evangelicalism, we take the cake.
And before I go further, I'm not trying to paint all Christians in this light. Far from it. I know some damn fine Christians that I'm proud to associate with. They are humble, giving, accepting, non-judgemental and peaceful folks. Sadly, they seem to be an anomaly among the majority. So this is directed to the rest of the masses I encounter.
To my eyes, Christianity is well represented in this country. Christianity is the biggest religion in the world and the U.S. has the largest number of Christian citizens in the world. Not a bad start. Stats like that take you right to the front of the line. There's not a single day that goes by that I'm not reminded of some body's Christian faith. Just walk down the street: Churches on every corner, crucifix pendants around many a neck and rear view mirror, vanity plates and bumper stickers praising Jesus (In fact, the Virginia DMV is now going to be making available "In God We Trust" plates), businesses with those little Jesus fish on their signs like some sort of secret code, Christian Family Bookstore chains in large shopping complexes accessible by all major roadways, people on street corners (and sometimes even knocking on your door) handing out Christian literature and at Christmas time, there are large groups of folks who will walk around in public singing Christian Holiday songs to anybody who will listen. And sometimes people will even throw money at them for it. MONEY! Not stones, spears or knives but sweet, sweet green.
I see tattoos all the time, openly displayed, of Christian images: crosses, Jesus, angels, saints..I've even seen a couple people with a crown of thorns tattooed around their heads.
Turn on the radio or TV. There are multiple stations and channels dedicated 100% solely to the Word. People like Joel Osteen fill entire STADIUMS with the faithful. And he profits handsomely from it. Legally. Songs like "You Light Up My Life" and "Jesus Take The Wheel" have been number one, best selling songs. And let's not forget a film called "The Passion Of the Christ" that was kinda popular.
How about our government? Churches have power where they aren't even SUPPOSED to have any. Separation of Church and State is largely ignored. The Founding Fathers (who were DEISTS, not Christians...look it up) were explicitly against having clergy involved in political affairs. It's only logical they were touchy about that. They just fought a little war of independence (you may have heard of it) to combat, among many other things, the theocratic power of the Church of England, who cheerfully imposed rules on the colonies such as that missing a certain consecutive amount of days of Church warranted jail time. Yet from the very beginning, the clergy began exerting their influence in political matters. There were to be no official religious tests to hold office, yet unofficially, even today candidates have to claim a Christian set in order to be down in the 'hood to have hopes of even being considered for an election. There's not alot of openly Muslim, Hindu or (gasp) atheist folks on the halls of Congress or the White House. Christmas receives a Federal holiday as does Easter; we don't get any days off for Hanukkah, Kwanza or Ramadan do we? Hell, the biggest Christmas Tree in the nation is in Washington D.C. every year. Churches also wield an influence in government decisions and candidates, yet they are exempt from paying taxes. They get to have their cake and eat it too.
That doesn't seem like persecution to me and it sure doesn't reek of victim hood. It sounds like Christianity has the lion share of freedom and influence when compared to everyone else. When I think of religious persecution, I think of the Middle East, where you can be jailed or killed for showing expressions of the wrong faith in public. I think of the Holocaust where millions were slaughtered because they were the wrong religion. I think of the Crusades and Spanish Inquisition where Christians themselves murdered and tortured those of opposing beliefs. How about the Jesuit priests who came over to this new land to bring the message of eternal love through torture, imprisonment, thievery, rape and execution to the Indians?
I don't view reminding Christians that while they want people to respect their boundaries, they need to respect others as well to be oppression. Hordes of Christians with signs, yelling angrily at somebody entering an abortion clinic? I see oppression of some body's birthright to make their own reproductive choices. When I see Christians rallying to stop same-sex marriage, I see oppression of civil rights. When Christian groups seek to teach creationism in schools and attempt to block scientific advancements such as stem-cell research, I see oppression of intellect and progress. When they attempt to ban books, music and movies I see oppression of creativity and choice. When I see them oppose other people's constitutional rights to freedom of speech and religious freedom, I see the oppression of a civil and free society.
And I don't count banning prayer from public schools, the ten commandments in courthouses or nativity scenes from the front of government buildings as an assault on faith. Sorry. They don't belong there. Having reasonable boundaries is not a raping of rights. I know Christians generally have a hard time with the word "no", especially when it prevents them from steamrolling over everyone else. But there are countless other unhindered ways to express faith in this country...they don't have to hog them ALL. Also, by the way, saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" isn't an affront to God either. There are other major holidays in December besides Christmas. It's just a nice way to include everybody without making assumptions. While we're at it, though I celebrate Christmas, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I was told "Happy Hanukkah". Let's be adults and accept the kind sentiment behind the words instead of getting hyper about technicalities.
It seems like Christians have never gotten over being fed to the lions in Rome all those years ago. They've carried that underdog mentality with them to this very day, even though they've taken over most of the world. It's a very militant mentality. It's in their language when they refer to themselves: "Soldier Of Christ" "God's Army, "Prayer Warrior" etc etc. It only reminds me of what Robert Ingersoll said: "If there be an infinite being, it doesn't need us to defend it." But what more do they want, honestly? Bibles delivered to every home like phonebooks? Is their current slice of the ecclesiastical pie not big enough? There's not much left to take, really. They already have the most influence, privileges and funding of any religious group in the country. I thought charity was an important virtue..leave something for somebody else. I think many modern Christians are too busy trying to be Christians rather than trying to be like Christ. There is a very real, and very huge, difference between the two.
So, Christians, let's just calm down shall we? Stop being afraid you're going to be kicked out of the sandbox. You won't be. You know why? Yes, you may be the loudest, biggest kids in the sandbox shoving all the other kids around but you can't be kicked out, because you also own the damn sandbox. Nobody can make you go anywhere. You've elbowed your way to the front of the buffet line and are there to stay. So sit down, eat your food and quit whining; nobody feels sorry for you. And is writing letters to television stations for what they did or didn't say really the best use of your spiritual energy? Does God really need the airtime that badly? Are you protesting for God or for your own need to be validated? It just seems to me those tightly clasped hands that are praying unceasingly for somebody you recognize you as a righteous Christian could be better put to use doing something for the poor, hungry and ill of our society. All this other stuff seems superfluous by comparison doesn't it?
I challenge you to put your Christ where your mouth is. Instead of standing outside a clinic waving signs at some frightened and ashamed teenage girl trying to scare her into keeping the baby her scumbag father may have impregnated her with, why don't you go visit an orphanage or the child cancer ward of the hospital? Those children are already here, very scared and very alone. Instead of espousing terror, anger and bile at people you don't even know, go give THOSE kids some hope and love. Go spend time at a nursing home and visit some people whose friends and family have all passed on and left them behind. Feed somebody who may not have eaten a decent meal in months. Quit worrying about how other people are worshipping (or not) and keep your eyes on your own paper.
Listen, I'm not out to stop somebody's religious expression. Sure, I'm not religious but that doesn't mean I don't respect other people's right to be. To quote one of our Founding Fathers Thomas Jefferson,"But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." Go ahead, wear your crosses, drive your Christ encrusted cars, build more churches. I see the value in religion; it gives many a person hope and comfort in a harsh, cruel and unfair world. Celebrate and find joy in your faith. I won't even turn the hose on you if you show up on my doorstep to hand me a Bible. I may even invite you in and discuss it with you; there's no reason we can't be friends because we believe differently. But every once in awhile we gotta remind the guy who is talking on his cellphone in the theater that there's a time and a place for everything. Having the right to own a cellphone doesn't give that guy the right to use it when it's inappropiate. Nobody is trying to pick on him and take away his phone, people are just trying to remind him to use his manners while he's out being a part of society. So let's all relax and enjoy the movie together before I run this metaphor into the ground even further.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thoughts on being 35.
An interesting thing happened to me this last weekend. I had just finshed my yardwork (mowing, trimming, etc.), was standing on the porch surveying my handiwork and feeling the contentment of a job well done. Then I noticed those feelings of contentment were stronger than usual...almost TOO strong. Have I reached the point in life where my lawn is the yardstick (pardon the pun) for my middle-aged Dad productivity? I expect my officially issued black socks and sandals to arrive anyday now. I'm even starting to look at people wearing sweatpants out in public and am thinking, "Why the hell not?" Truly scary times.
I've been talking about planting bushes in front of the house for a few years now. I've always put it off as I always had more exciting things to do. But this year, as Spring was just suggesting it was ready to be sprung, I was at the Garden Center in Lowe's buying bags of mulch, fertilizer and boxwood bushes. 4 of 'em. And I spent the better part of a nice evening shoveling, planting, mulching and moving large rocks to line the edges of the beds. And I loved it. Now I find myself planning further landscaping projects. And I am also now the annoying driver who slows down in a parking to gaze at the plant sale that's going on out on the sidewalk. I used to be the guy behind that person, screaming curses for them to hurry the #@**&! up.
I first noticed my slow crawl to full-on adulthood a few years ago as I was driving past my old high school. As of last sumer, I was 16 years out of high school. 16 years. That means the kids there now were just being born when I was graduating *shivers*. I saw a group of kids hanging out in the same spot I hung out. And I said, in my out loud voice, "Look at those damn kids." I almost slammed on my brakes so I could compose myself, because as I uttered those words a great understanding came over me: No wonder nobody took what we said as kids seriously..we were full of shit! Was I ever as full of shit as I think those teeagers I'm looking at right now are? YES! I got it, finally. Kids know dick. Sorry, but it's true. Full of idealistic optimism, vision for the future and a much needed dose of naive innocence in this world? Yes. But grounded in reality? No. And I found myself missing the utter freedom of that a bit. As they say, true knowledge brings suffering. At this stage in life, suffering for them is having to be without a cell phone for longer than 2 hours. So then I chuckled and drove on, knowing that someday a group of snotfaced little pricks will be there to tell THEM that everything they liked is lame too. Ah, the circle of life.
35 is interesting. You're at the peak of your 30's and are getting ready to hit the other side of the slope, the quick downward slide to 40. 30 thru 34 are really just your 20's extended. Stretched to almost breaking, really. Before 35, you can still kind of get away with some of the boneheaded stuff your 20's are for. In your 20's, a hangover has a funny story attached to it. The deeper you get into your 30's, more and more your hangover stories become just kinda sad stories. And if you still have hangover stories once you're leaving the 30's, chances are your 40's will be spent in AA.
Other changes happen too. Going away becomes alot more complicated. I remember when I could leave for a trip with literally just an extra shirt and a toothbrush. I'll be fine, let's just DO THIS!! YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH! Now even going away for just one night requires a checklist: prescriptions, antacids, headache medicine (gotta be the right kind, because that other kind just doesn't work for me), my brand of toothpaste, allergy pills (non-drowsy for daytime please), cold medicine and imodium (just in case I get sick while I'm gone), dandruff shampoo, that special bodywash that doesn't dry my skin too much, sunscreen (the skin cancer, you know) and various other lotions, meds and tidbits depending on what other affliction you're dealing with at the time.
Speaking of afflictions, you'll begin to notice more chronic things beginning to pop up. Aches and pains that come from nowhere and stay around alot longer than they used to. When I was 20, I could get hit my a truck in the morning and my bruises would be healed by dinner. Now I stub my toe and I'm limping until Christmas. Your bounce back doesn't quite bounce as much. And medical issues become more common. I got diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease (a thyroid disease) over a year ago. It's a pain in the ass for sure and now I have something to bond with my family over on holiday gatherings, which ultimately turn into a listing of medical maladies they've all dealt with for the year. Now I'm part of the club. And it's nice to belong, isn't it?
On the more serious side of illnesses, you begin to notice the mortality in those you love around you more as you get older. My best friend since high school was diagnosed with leukemia just before Christmas last year (but is doing great now, BTW). I lost my grandmother in 2007. I lost my little cousin in 2001. You begin to see that the time we all thought we had endless amounts of is getting shorter. And therefor gets more precious by the day. So you begin to streamline life. You realize who you want to make time for and who you don't. The bullshit and drama you used to accept into your life has no place in it now. There's simply no time for it. And you find the cliche' of how fast time moves by to be disturbingly accurate.
But, I love being 35. I feel more like "me" than I ever have before. I've accepted my annoying quirks as lovable eccentricites (you learn it's all in how you label things :-) that I look forward to tormenting my wife with when we get older together. I have a son turning two this year and another one due in August that I'm excited to watch grow up. Sure, it's still disconcerting to hear songs you liked in high school pop up on Classic Rock stations and toys you used to play with be re-issued as a "Vintage Series". Hey, time moves on, with or without us. Accept it or don't. Either is fine by me because I've also reached the blissful stage of "I don't give a rat's ass."
So here's to my 30's so far. No doubt I'll look back at them once I'm 40 and say, "Man, I was a dumbass in those days, wasn't I?" Which, hopfeully, means that I got even smarter instead of just growing into a bigger asshole. Stay tuned.
I've been talking about planting bushes in front of the house for a few years now. I've always put it off as I always had more exciting things to do. But this year, as Spring was just suggesting it was ready to be sprung, I was at the Garden Center in Lowe's buying bags of mulch, fertilizer and boxwood bushes. 4 of 'em. And I spent the better part of a nice evening shoveling, planting, mulching and moving large rocks to line the edges of the beds. And I loved it. Now I find myself planning further landscaping projects. And I am also now the annoying driver who slows down in a parking to gaze at the plant sale that's going on out on the sidewalk. I used to be the guy behind that person, screaming curses for them to hurry the #@**&! up.
I first noticed my slow crawl to full-on adulthood a few years ago as I was driving past my old high school. As of last sumer, I was 16 years out of high school. 16 years. That means the kids there now were just being born when I was graduating *shivers*. I saw a group of kids hanging out in the same spot I hung out. And I said, in my out loud voice, "Look at those damn kids." I almost slammed on my brakes so I could compose myself, because as I uttered those words a great understanding came over me: No wonder nobody took what we said as kids seriously..we were full of shit! Was I ever as full of shit as I think those teeagers I'm looking at right now are? YES! I got it, finally. Kids know dick. Sorry, but it's true. Full of idealistic optimism, vision for the future and a much needed dose of naive innocence in this world? Yes. But grounded in reality? No. And I found myself missing the utter freedom of that a bit. As they say, true knowledge brings suffering. At this stage in life, suffering for them is having to be without a cell phone for longer than 2 hours. So then I chuckled and drove on, knowing that someday a group of snotfaced little pricks will be there to tell THEM that everything they liked is lame too. Ah, the circle of life.
35 is interesting. You're at the peak of your 30's and are getting ready to hit the other side of the slope, the quick downward slide to 40. 30 thru 34 are really just your 20's extended. Stretched to almost breaking, really. Before 35, you can still kind of get away with some of the boneheaded stuff your 20's are for. In your 20's, a hangover has a funny story attached to it. The deeper you get into your 30's, more and more your hangover stories become just kinda sad stories. And if you still have hangover stories once you're leaving the 30's, chances are your 40's will be spent in AA.
Other changes happen too. Going away becomes alot more complicated. I remember when I could leave for a trip with literally just an extra shirt and a toothbrush. I'll be fine, let's just DO THIS!! YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH! Now even going away for just one night requires a checklist: prescriptions, antacids, headache medicine (gotta be the right kind, because that other kind just doesn't work for me), my brand of toothpaste, allergy pills (non-drowsy for daytime please), cold medicine and imodium (just in case I get sick while I'm gone), dandruff shampoo, that special bodywash that doesn't dry my skin too much, sunscreen (the skin cancer, you know) and various other lotions, meds and tidbits depending on what other affliction you're dealing with at the time.
Speaking of afflictions, you'll begin to notice more chronic things beginning to pop up. Aches and pains that come from nowhere and stay around alot longer than they used to. When I was 20, I could get hit my a truck in the morning and my bruises would be healed by dinner. Now I stub my toe and I'm limping until Christmas. Your bounce back doesn't quite bounce as much. And medical issues become more common. I got diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease (a thyroid disease) over a year ago. It's a pain in the ass for sure and now I have something to bond with my family over on holiday gatherings, which ultimately turn into a listing of medical maladies they've all dealt with for the year. Now I'm part of the club. And it's nice to belong, isn't it?
On the more serious side of illnesses, you begin to notice the mortality in those you love around you more as you get older. My best friend since high school was diagnosed with leukemia just before Christmas last year (but is doing great now, BTW). I lost my grandmother in 2007. I lost my little cousin in 2001. You begin to see that the time we all thought we had endless amounts of is getting shorter. And therefor gets more precious by the day. So you begin to streamline life. You realize who you want to make time for and who you don't. The bullshit and drama you used to accept into your life has no place in it now. There's simply no time for it. And you find the cliche' of how fast time moves by to be disturbingly accurate.
But, I love being 35. I feel more like "me" than I ever have before. I've accepted my annoying quirks as lovable eccentricites (you learn it's all in how you label things :-) that I look forward to tormenting my wife with when we get older together. I have a son turning two this year and another one due in August that I'm excited to watch grow up. Sure, it's still disconcerting to hear songs you liked in high school pop up on Classic Rock stations and toys you used to play with be re-issued as a "Vintage Series". Hey, time moves on, with or without us. Accept it or don't. Either is fine by me because I've also reached the blissful stage of "I don't give a rat's ass."
So here's to my 30's so far. No doubt I'll look back at them once I'm 40 and say, "Man, I was a dumbass in those days, wasn't I?" Which, hopfeully, means that I got even smarter instead of just growing into a bigger asshole. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Art Snob??
Sometimes I wonder if I'm an art snob because my gut reaction to art done on a computer is that it's not "real" art. What complicates this further is I can't really explain to you what "real" art is. All I know is that when I see a pretty picture and find out it's all digital, I dunno...I feel a sense that it's cheating. Cheating in the same way I see a DJ as not being a real musician. Pressing buttons isn't music and it doesn't feel like art to me either.
I'm no dummy, I fully realize the place digital art has in the world today and am trying to remain viable. I'm working against every old-school instinct and preference I have, though. I know, I know, you have to adapt to survive. I'm a Darwinist, so I get it. For the speed and versatility demanded by today's business models, digital art is a necessity. Newspapers and magazines don't have the traditional art departments anymore where people would labor over art boards, cutting and pasting copy by hand, manually cropping photographs and applying the registration marks for the printer themselves. All that is done on computers these days. Same for sign makers, stationary companies, etc. etc. Logos are all designed on computers now too. Which is nice, because lettering has always been my weakest suit when it comes to art. So I fully embrace the ability to do that on a PC.
But I enjoy looking at a painting and drawing that's been handmade. I like seeing the brushstrokes, the pencil and pen strokes. I marvel at the skill it takes to apply smooth shading, uniform lines, the knowledge of perspective. I like seeing the imperfections too. To me, that's almost more art than anything...the humanness of it. Look at an old Calvin and Hobbes book, you can see where the watercolor is just over the outline in spots and where the line value of the outline wavers just a bit. You know he sat down and did it himself. He worked it with his hands, paint, ink and a brush. Many cartoonists use the computer today not just for color anymore but for everything else too. They look great, don't get me wrong, but it's just a bit TOO perfect to my eyes. I like getting the sense that the person who drew something has a little bit of ink under their fingernails.
Currently I'm taking a class on Adobe Illustrator. Like I said, I'm no dummy. I'm attempting to keep up. But I gotta say, when I complete a project I don't feel that sense of accomplishment I get when I complete a painting. I feel more like I successfully and correctly completed a series of commands rather than created art. I'm more relieved that I'm finished than proud of what I've done. There's nothing visceral about it, no connection. When I hand draw or paint something, I can stand back and still "feel" what I did. I can remember how smooth that line went down, how I struggled with that other part, the almost zen like peace of repetitively laying on some thick coats of color or shading. The painting has a tangible texture. I can trace my finger along a brushstroke and feel the ridges of it. I shift and turn the canvas or paper constantly while I'm working. I stand, twist, sit, bend, stoop to get where I need to be. It's a physical experience as much as it is a visual one. And that effort comes out on the canvas. You can see emotion and effort in a stroke. To go back to the DJ analogy, it's the difference between hearing a guitar sample and having an actual living guitarist in front of you with steel strings and electricty under their fingers, hearing what's coming out of their hands through a speaker that's moving air in real time. I think that's what's missing for me when it comes to digital. It's just me sitting, looking at a screen, clicking the mouse and pressing buttons. It's really no fun....nothing is moving except a cursor.
I'm fully aware of the possibilities and convenience computer art offers. You can scan in a line drawing, play with the colors, re size objects, create multiple versions of a work quickly and easily. It's much easier to line things up correctly, make it proportionally correct, center it, reverse it, etc. etc. And it takes a solid knowledge of color theory and design principles to make it all look good. I'll never accuse digital artists of being unskilled. One of my big artistic influences, Derek Riggs (the guy responsible for all that amazing Iron Maiden artwork) works exclusively in digital now. Due to his artistic skill, his current pieces are amazing. But for me, they are still missing something from the days when he was slaving over an art board with a pen and brush.
Many see it as just another medium for artists to explore and there is alot of truth in that. It's the latest tool in the artist toolbox. It's up to each artist to determine it's worth in relation to what they do. As far as being necessary in today's fast paced world, I accept it 100%. As far as liking it..well, I'm not there yet.
I'm no dummy, I fully realize the place digital art has in the world today and am trying to remain viable. I'm working against every old-school instinct and preference I have, though. I know, I know, you have to adapt to survive. I'm a Darwinist, so I get it. For the speed and versatility demanded by today's business models, digital art is a necessity. Newspapers and magazines don't have the traditional art departments anymore where people would labor over art boards, cutting and pasting copy by hand, manually cropping photographs and applying the registration marks for the printer themselves. All that is done on computers these days. Same for sign makers, stationary companies, etc. etc. Logos are all designed on computers now too. Which is nice, because lettering has always been my weakest suit when it comes to art. So I fully embrace the ability to do that on a PC.
But I enjoy looking at a painting and drawing that's been handmade. I like seeing the brushstrokes, the pencil and pen strokes. I marvel at the skill it takes to apply smooth shading, uniform lines, the knowledge of perspective. I like seeing the imperfections too. To me, that's almost more art than anything...the humanness of it. Look at an old Calvin and Hobbes book, you can see where the watercolor is just over the outline in spots and where the line value of the outline wavers just a bit. You know he sat down and did it himself. He worked it with his hands, paint, ink and a brush. Many cartoonists use the computer today not just for color anymore but for everything else too. They look great, don't get me wrong, but it's just a bit TOO perfect to my eyes. I like getting the sense that the person who drew something has a little bit of ink under their fingernails.
Currently I'm taking a class on Adobe Illustrator. Like I said, I'm no dummy. I'm attempting to keep up. But I gotta say, when I complete a project I don't feel that sense of accomplishment I get when I complete a painting. I feel more like I successfully and correctly completed a series of commands rather than created art. I'm more relieved that I'm finished than proud of what I've done. There's nothing visceral about it, no connection. When I hand draw or paint something, I can stand back and still "feel" what I did. I can remember how smooth that line went down, how I struggled with that other part, the almost zen like peace of repetitively laying on some thick coats of color or shading. The painting has a tangible texture. I can trace my finger along a brushstroke and feel the ridges of it. I shift and turn the canvas or paper constantly while I'm working. I stand, twist, sit, bend, stoop to get where I need to be. It's a physical experience as much as it is a visual one. And that effort comes out on the canvas. You can see emotion and effort in a stroke. To go back to the DJ analogy, it's the difference between hearing a guitar sample and having an actual living guitarist in front of you with steel strings and electricty under their fingers, hearing what's coming out of their hands through a speaker that's moving air in real time. I think that's what's missing for me when it comes to digital. It's just me sitting, looking at a screen, clicking the mouse and pressing buttons. It's really no fun....nothing is moving except a cursor.
I'm fully aware of the possibilities and convenience computer art offers. You can scan in a line drawing, play with the colors, re size objects, create multiple versions of a work quickly and easily. It's much easier to line things up correctly, make it proportionally correct, center it, reverse it, etc. etc. And it takes a solid knowledge of color theory and design principles to make it all look good. I'll never accuse digital artists of being unskilled. One of my big artistic influences, Derek Riggs (the guy responsible for all that amazing Iron Maiden artwork) works exclusively in digital now. Due to his artistic skill, his current pieces are amazing. But for me, they are still missing something from the days when he was slaving over an art board with a pen and brush.
Many see it as just another medium for artists to explore and there is alot of truth in that. It's the latest tool in the artist toolbox. It's up to each artist to determine it's worth in relation to what they do. As far as being necessary in today's fast paced world, I accept it 100%. As far as liking it..well, I'm not there yet.
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