Thoughts on being 35.

An interesting thing happened to me this last weekend. I had just finshed my yardwork (mowing, trimming, etc.), was standing on the porch surveying my handiwork and feeling the contentment of a job well done. Then I noticed those feelings of contentment were stronger than usual...almost TOO strong. Have I reached the point in life where my lawn is the yardstick (pardon the pun) for my middle-aged Dad productivity? I expect my officially issued black socks and sandals to arrive anyday now. I'm even starting to look at people wearing sweatpants out in public and am thinking, "Why the hell not?" Truly scary times.

I've been talking about planting bushes in front of the house for a few years now. I've always put it off as I always had more exciting things to do. But this year, as Spring was just suggesting it was ready to be sprung, I was at the Garden Center in Lowe's buying bags of mulch, fertilizer and boxwood bushes. 4 of 'em. And I spent the better part of a nice evening shoveling, planting, mulching and moving large rocks to line the edges of the beds. And I loved it. Now I find myself planning further landscaping projects. And I am also now the annoying driver who slows down in a parking to gaze at the plant sale that's going on out on the sidewalk. I used to be the guy behind that person, screaming curses for them to hurry the #@**&! up.

I first noticed my slow crawl to full-on adulthood a few years ago as I was driving past my old high school. As of last sumer, I was 16 years out of high school. 16 years. That means the kids there now were just being born when I was graduating *shivers*. I saw a group of kids hanging out in the same spot I hung out. And I said, in my out loud voice, "Look at those damn kids." I almost slammed on my brakes so I could compose myself, because as I uttered those words a great understanding came over me: No wonder nobody took what we said as kids seriously..we were full of shit! Was I ever as full of shit as I think those teeagers I'm looking at right now are? YES! I got it, finally. Kids know dick. Sorry, but it's true. Full of idealistic optimism, vision for the future and a much needed dose of naive innocence in this world? Yes. But grounded in reality? No. And I found myself missing the utter freedom of that a bit. As they say, true knowledge brings suffering. At this stage in life, suffering for them is having to be without a cell phone for longer than 2 hours. So then I chuckled and drove on, knowing that someday a group of snotfaced little pricks will be there to tell THEM that everything they liked is lame too. Ah, the circle of life.

35 is interesting. You're at the peak of your 30's and are getting ready to hit the other side of the slope, the quick downward slide to 40. 30 thru 34 are really just your 20's extended. Stretched to almost breaking, really. Before 35, you can still kind of get away with some of the boneheaded stuff your 20's are for. In your 20's, a hangover has a funny story attached to it. The deeper you get into your 30's, more and more your hangover stories become just kinda sad stories. And if you still have hangover stories once you're leaving the 30's, chances are your 40's will be spent in AA.

Other changes happen too. Going away becomes alot more complicated. I remember when I could leave for a trip with literally just an extra shirt and a toothbrush. I'll be fine, let's just DO THIS!! YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH! Now even going away for just one night requires a checklist: prescriptions, antacids, headache medicine (gotta be the right kind, because that other kind just doesn't work for me), my brand of toothpaste, allergy pills (non-drowsy for daytime please), cold medicine and imodium (just in case I get sick while I'm gone), dandruff shampoo, that special bodywash that doesn't dry my skin too much, sunscreen (the skin cancer, you know) and various other lotions, meds and tidbits depending on what other affliction you're dealing with at the time.

Speaking of afflictions, you'll begin to notice more chronic things beginning to pop up. Aches and pains that come from nowhere and stay around alot longer than they used to. When I was 20, I could get hit my a truck in the morning and my bruises would be healed by dinner. Now I stub my toe and I'm limping until Christmas. Your bounce back doesn't quite bounce as much. And medical issues become more common. I got diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease (a thyroid disease) over a year ago. It's a pain in the ass for sure and now I have something to bond with my family over on holiday gatherings, which ultimately turn into a listing of medical maladies they've all dealt with for the year. Now I'm part of the club. And it's nice to belong, isn't it?

On the more serious side of illnesses, you begin to notice the mortality in those you love around you more as you get older. My best friend since high school was diagnosed with leukemia just before Christmas last year (but is doing great now, BTW). I lost my grandmother in 2007. I lost my little cousin in 2001. You begin to see that the time we all thought we had endless amounts of is getting shorter. And therefor gets more precious by the day. So you begin to streamline life. You realize who you want to make time for and who you don't. The bullshit and drama you used to accept into your life has no place in it now. There's simply no time for it. And you find the cliche' of how fast time moves by to be disturbingly accurate.

But, I love being 35. I feel more like "me" than I ever have before. I've accepted my annoying quirks as lovable eccentricites (you learn it's all in how you label things :-) that I look forward to tormenting my wife with when we get older together. I have a son turning two this year and another one due in August that I'm excited to watch grow up. Sure, it's still disconcerting to hear songs you liked in high school pop up on Classic Rock stations and toys you used to play with be re-issued as a "Vintage Series". Hey, time moves on, with or without us. Accept it or don't. Either is fine by me because I've also reached the blissful stage of "I don't give a rat's ass."

So here's to my 30's so far. No doubt I'll look back at them once I'm 40 and say, "Man, I was a dumbass in those days, wasn't I?" Which, hopfeully, means that I got even smarter instead of just growing into a bigger asshole. Stay tuned.